I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I AM VODKA MAN
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize