Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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