Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
