I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
