apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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