So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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