My Higher Power is John Stamos
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it glows. i had to have it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
