connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
