dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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