I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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