I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize