If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
