I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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