Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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