He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
