it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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