Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pooping to opera.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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