Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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