Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Randomize
