the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now