yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
