Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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