Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
