I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I forgot how hot balto sounded
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
