I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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