I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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