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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb

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• (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

  Fav 18 3970 1090

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.

  Fav 23 5234 1265

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• (657): View more from California

  You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl

  Fav 26 1718 3880

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.

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• (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts. 

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.

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