Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
