I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.