Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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(423): View more from Tennessee

he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(860): View more from Connecticut

you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover

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(740): View more from Ohio

I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake

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(239): View more from Florida

We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious

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(509): View more from Washington

I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.

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