Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
