why didn't you poke me back
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
