You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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