its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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