Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
