so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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