Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
