yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
