oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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