I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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