You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
