I wish I could punch you in the face.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize