Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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