I want you more than these girls want KFC
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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