Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
