you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
