i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I look better un-naked...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
