So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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