Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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