New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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