you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
