Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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