today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
