hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
