Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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