Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
