There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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