just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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