he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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