Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
