if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
