a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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