In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Randomize
