You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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