You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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