You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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