Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
