Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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